The Umbara Letters
by obadelia
Summary: In the wake of Theron Shan's betrayal on Umbara, the Sith Warrior female grieves over the trauma by drafting a series of messages that are never sent. Keywords: betrayal, break-up, Crisis on Umbara, grief, Malavai Quinn, relationship, Star Wars The Old Republic, Sith Warrior, Theron Shan


/ PRIVATE MAILBOX #6XF-gnFODv-065i

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[Compose Message]

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Drafts (9)

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/ **DRAFTS**

/ **Sort:** Oldest to Newest

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4 days ago

 **To: Theron Shan**

 **Subject: Let me help you**

T,

The man I saw on the other side of the safety field was an impostor. He might've had your face and your voice, but he wasn't my Theron.

At first, I thought that you'd gone deep cover on some mission you can't tell me about. Now more than ever I'm certain you're being manipulated. Someone has made you do this. They must be threatening a loved one to gain your compliance. Satele, perhaps. Or Teff'ith. I've reached out to them both. No response so far.

You're clever, resourceful. I know you can get a message through to let me know what's really happening.

Ask and I'll turn the galaxy inside out for you.

I still love you.

/ - - - - - - - - - -

4 days ago

 **To: Theron Shan**

 **Subject: My mistakes**

Dearest,

I received your message. I've calmed enough to respond now. There are there are things I need to say.

My former master taught me that a frightened enemy can be the most dangerous. With all that was happening on Iokath I briefly I forgot this wisdom. Imperial and Republican blindness forced my hand was forced, dashing my vision of a peacekeeping Alliance.

The decision to ally with Acina and the Empire was not due to ideological affinity. I thought I could closely oversee and control the threat I perceived to be greater. In doing so, I failed to anticipate the Republic's desperation. I did not anticipate your father's death and deeply regret your bearing witness.

Blame me for Malcom's death, but do not punish the Alliance for my failings as a leader.

Peace is still within reach. Please come home.

/ - - - - - - - - - -

3 days ago

 **To: Theron Shan**

 **Subject: Pathetic**

Theron,

Years ago, while on a death-defying mission, I met a force-blind patriot with the cunning to outplay both Sith and Jedi. He was glorious, electric, and his choosing to fight at my side was completely intoxicating. This charming strategist's emotional reservation stoked my sportive infatuation all the more.

Together, we bested monsters and monarchs—seen and unseen—and somewhere in between, we found a lasting love. Or so I thought.

It's not the ever-present feel of my lover's knife in my back that hurts the most. What causes my poignant, unending grief is that, despite all we'd conquered, he never trusted me to protect him.

Is it ironic or coincidental that don't know whether I'm describing you or my husband anymore?

/ - - - - - - - - - -

2 days ago

 **To: Theron Shan**

 **Subject: Burying the past**

Agent Shan,

The memories of you have claws. They scratch at the back of my mind.

I will dismember them.

Last night, I dreamed of Manaan and the flickering holo image that first bore your face and voice to me. This time, I refused your help and Gorima's laboratory collapsed, pulling me into the depths. I awoke with a sense of profound serenity. Our past no longer shackles me.

/ - - - - - - - - - -

2 days ago

 **To: Theron Shan**

 **Subject: Happy Life Day**

I always pictured you and I spending the holidays together. Instead, I stood in front of a console following leads into your whereabouts while the rest of the base enjoyed the festivities.

The only event I look forward to is extinguishing your traitorous life.

The only gift I need is the symphony of your screams.

/ - - - - - - - - - -

1 day ago

 **To: Theron Shan**

 **Subject: [NO SUBJECT]**

Shan,

Today, Vette brought me your jacket — the one you misplaced after the last holo-sabacc tournament. She found it behind a sofa in one of the cantina's private rooms. Must've tossed it aside when we amorously celebrated your winnings that night. It smelled of you and I almost forgot you're not here.

I promptly ordered your quarters be turned into a waste disposal unit (it'll be the largest public access one on the base). The belongings you left behind have been incinerated along with the commitment ring and all the other tacky junk you gave me.

/ - - - - - - - - - -

11 hours ago

 **To: Theron Shan**

 **Subject: Good riddance**

Traitor,

I know what a smiling betrayer looks like. I shared a bed and a life with one for years. Kudos to you for a much more convincing portrayal of the supportive lover.

It may interest you to know that the moment you forsook the Alliance, Major Quinn wasted no time in ingratiating himself to me once more. I found him standing in my quarters wearing nothing but a slave collar and his old combat boots. Simply delightful. I spurned him, of course, but humiliation always did charge up Quinny's hyperdrive. I may just take him up on the offer. He is willing to amuse me in ways that would've offended you, had I asked.

Thank you for saving me from investing too much of myself on another spineless dog.

/ - - - - - - - - - -

5 hours ago

 **To: Theron Shan**

 **Subject: [NO SUBJECT]**

Agent Shan,

I have always, ever been focused on surviving, fighting for myself. First, through the perils of an Imperial upbringing, then against the pitfalls of Sithhood. The former prepared me for the latter.

The luxury of being an idealist like you escaped me ... until Zakuul. Know that I envisioned overthrowing its throne and claiming the fleet as a step towards spearheading peace.

/ - - - - - - - - - -

46 minutes ago

 **To: Theron Shan**

 **Subject: Tick tock**

Dog,

Your impact as an agitator is borderless. Unexpected new allies have committed resources to finding you.

The last traitor in my ranks who tried to murder me was granted mercy. I will not make the same mistake twice.

I don't know the exact day or hour, but I am going to find you. In that moment, I will watch the life slowly drain from your eyes. And it will be the last pleasure you give me.


End file.
